i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
