i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
