We're facebook friends in real life
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
