he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
