Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
