At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This gyro tastes like lonliness
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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