24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
