very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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