I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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