Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
