Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I want to fling myself into the sun
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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