ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
