dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
