I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm at about main and main street
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
