Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize