You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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