First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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