My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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