Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
