I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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