whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
