I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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