it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
