just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
