Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
