so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
