too bad you live with your parents still
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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