Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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