whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
