We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I love you. Go after that dick
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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