38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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