xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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