Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
birth control should be required to get into college
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
