I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I take back everything I said about communal showers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
