when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize
