Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
