I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
