I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Such a big mess for such a small penis
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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