it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
how does that bad decision feel?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
