We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
