You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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