that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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