i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
