with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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