Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
