you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
