Dual....:-)
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
