Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
