2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
