Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
