Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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