His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
