I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
