can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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