Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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