that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize